I recently had someone say to me how lovely my blog was. She then proceeded to say she was envious of how I seemed to have it altogether.
Those of you who know me in the “real world”, ya’ll can stop laughing, snorting or any combination of the sort, and pick yourself up off the ground. Friends who don’t know me in the “real world”, listen up. I am going to let you in on a little secret: in the universe of hot messes, my hot mess takes up most of the space in said universe.
Let me tell you about me:
I am a middle age chick, with middle age hormones. I have ADHD and Hashimoto’s. Next, throw in another long list of medical mayhem, much too long to add to this post, but these maladies also upset my hormones. (My primary doctor, legitimately pulls out the latest edition of his medical journal when he sees me coming…” What specialist shall I send you to today?”) I can laugh, cry or yell you out of the room in a split second…I am telling you, it’s worse than when I was a moody teenage girl, the third week of the month. It’s rough getting old, people.
Housework overwhelms me to the point that you better give me fair warning if you come visiting or you may not be let in. I have executive functioning and short-term memory issues that drive others around me completely batty.
I have notes for my notes to put notes on my calendar that I can’t find half of the time. I always forget birthdays, doctor’s appointments and anything one would normally put on a calendar. That’s because those reminders never make it to the calendar because nine times out of ten, they were lost in the abyss of post its, envelopes and scraps torn off the permission slips I never signed.
I have distraction and impulse issues out the wazoo. My mind is constantly raging in one thousand and one directions at any given moment of any given day. I get about 3-4 hours of sleep at night, because I can’t shut down. I function best in the dark, quiet hours of the night.
That is, except when I am in hyper focus mode. Oh, my gosh. Let me tell you about the insane blessing of hyper focus, a lovely side effect of my ADHD. When I find something interesting, like say, home schooling, reading and reviewing books, blogging, or directing VBS, for example, I am a machine. For real. I can organize and plan and execute like no one’s business when I am in hyper focus and I don’t lose any notes in the process. I read one book a night, sometimes two. A. Machine. I just can’t zoom in on much else outside that hyper focus zone. It’s true.
See? I am a hot mess, who absolutely doesn’t have it altogether. I could go on for twenty more paragraphs, at least, of my short comings, but I won’t. I am sure you get the idea. I’m a mess.
My intentions with this blog were never to leave the impression that I am a chick who is some sort of guru at this crazy thing we call life. I’m not that at all. That’s a very laughable assumption.
My intent with this blog was to share and encourage you with what I do know: amid my hot mess, I have a Lord and Savior who loves me through it. When I am at my craziest, or my lowest, He is there. He loves me despite my weaknesses, and through His Word, I find the encouragement and truth that I need, every day, to try and wade through my messes.
His truth is not just for me, but for you as well, dear friend. Please be assured, that the same Jesus who loves me through my mess, is loving you through yours. He will never stop loving you, nor never leave you. He’s always got your back.
PS (Can you PS a blog post?) As I finished this post up, the little notification bar came up on my screen that someone shared this video in a group I am in on Facebook. It’s good and it kind of goes along with my post. So, I felt I should share it.